I think you lied.

you're lying about it. I know you are. you have to be. there is no evidence pointing to the fact you two are dating. you're either ashamed of her or she doesn't exist. it may be just wishful thinking, but she can't exist. there's no way. well, okay she exists...but you didn't find her the LEAST bit attractive when we were together and you said you would never date her. so what changed? nothing changes that fast.
depressing, the male race. sad, decrepid, male race. men frustrate me to NO END. I hate boys, I hate men. I certainly am NOT attracted to women, so what's left for me? nothing. oh well. maybe this cutie that I JUST started texting today holds some prospect. another hopeless male victim i'm assuming. but alas, my life is just revolving around the fact I have NO boyfriend. PAAAAAAAAAAAAA-FREAKING-thetic. that's what I am.
onto good news. I spent some time with the best friend shayna today. we jammed to some adele and jb, went to see puss in boots in 3D, made fun of some people, ate almost 50 chicken tenders, laughed until we cried, took 10472972057207206729572957105 pictures in wal-mart, planned our halloween costumes (snookie and deena), and packed some bags. the BEST night of my life. it was EXACTLY what I needed. there may be some more hangout time in the near future, because my mom adores her. love, love, love her!
she is now my one and ONLY best friend. because she actually knows HOW to be a best friend and be there WHEN YOU NEED HER. SHE ACTUALLY KNOWS HOW TO BE A BEST FRIEND AND BE THERE WHEN YOU NEED HER. she doesn't ditch me for stupid people and has my back for whatever. you know who you are and I hope that hurt. I do. I don't care if you scream at me. i'm tired of listening to how i'm not good enough. another friend lost. how UN-FRICKING-FORTUNATE.
all my rants come at 4 am. it's interesting. I hope this does not become a trend. i'm hella tired and can't sleep. I have too much on my mind. I have this, this, constant fear. (I am totally aware I said this twice. t'was intentional). this fear of being predictable. it came out in a dream I had the other night. mr. burton and I were in his office and he was yelling at me. "autumn combs you are SO predictable! I can just guess your next damn move! everybody knows how predictable you are! you can ask anybody and they can tell you how predictable you are!" I woke up in a cold sweat. I am predictable.
well, the fact that my eyes are drooping and occasionally falling shut, is a sign I need to go to sleep. good night to my invisible audience.
au revior, jolie.